‘We aren’t picture perfect but we worth the picture still’
Depends on the concept of ‘picture perfect’ you are measuring against. I’ll give you an example referencing work:
I started my first cooperate role in 2015/16 and boy was it a different realm, as eager and excited as I was, those emotions quickly plummeted when the stares, glares and demands remained after the first week was over. Well there goes the ‘this must be all first weeks’ thought that I had.
I couldn’t grasp why people were staring at me; I was doing my job, looking cute, being polite and never missed a deadline nevertheless, I still felt less then all my colleagues. I chose to ignore it, luckily my home and social life was booming enough for me not to dwell on office shenanigans but I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t linger from time to time.
It is now 2021 & shock horror… I still get the same stares! However, I’ve learnt to take it positively and feel sorry for the people who subconsciously or consciously feel my attire, looks, hair and trainers do not fit the position that I am in. I mean come on, I deal with the tech world and account manage clients from start-ups to global enterprises, so because of this role you feel my Jordan's or baggy trousers (very comfortable may I add) makes me ‘unfit’ for the role? I join team meetings with head of digitals and CTO’s to introduce myself and even through the laptop, the stares are evident, perhaps it is the baby face, gold jewels or the puffy and luxurious curls?
What is it? Better yet what is the solution?
Well it is to be damn well proud of the glares. It means I show them what a Black Muslim Women is capable of, it means I highlight that clothing/styles/attires are a preference and not a pathway to understanding a humans intellect, it means I walk into boardrooms and stand out effortlessly.
It means I do not embody THEIR picture perfect idea but by all means I am definitely worth the picture still. My own image.
Remember this: Whenever you feel like you do not ‘fit in’ – simply embrace it, because you was never meant to.
With love,
HV
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